Open Poetry #31 |
Salvation Just Before Lunch |
Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Salvation Just Before Lunch Just a shadow wearing a fedora I look out the top floor window... scheming illumined souls below buzzing bees and a rapping beat flower-potted lamp posts encroach a hooker's beat I scan the entire block merchants hose down their front walk: they've risen the sun people and the moon people are one-- market vendors display their goods motorcycle riders vroom by tattooed ladies wave hi crack-heads and juicers recite their alibi Across the street Evangelist Rev. Reed sets up his Gospel Tent Suddenly, a noon day scent-- chili dogs and fries waft up to me in my small make-believe belfry. ©2004 Grover Gall |
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© Copyright 2004 Grover Gall - All Rights Reserved | |||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Grover...thanks for letting me look out your window with you...loved that last line! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Grover, you did describe your view very well. I enjoyed looking out with you too. And, I love the smell of chilidogs and fries. Hugs Ethel |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice descriptive writing...James |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Yes, I could see it all. Thank you. |
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S Arthur Grey Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719woven by a poet's loom |
Enjoyed the "pic'. |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Grover, this was magnificent! There's nothing like a good chili dog, to get your mind off things... This was a treat! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Grover! You have a very good grsp on your use of imagery. Well done. Hugs~ ~ Whatever our souls are made of, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I liked this very much, Grover... from title through last line! *S* |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Grover -- I really enjoyed this one a lot! |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Grover, This was a nice write, taking me out of the country into a different world. It was full of sounds, smells, feel... Enjoyed. ~Sadie~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done... constructively... I'd offer that the wording I scan the entire block merchants hose down their front walk: they've risen the sun people and the moon people are one-- seemed to trip me up when reading.. somehow almost like an interruption to the thought as a whole... probably me.. and not the piece at all... |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Great write Grover! Eric |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Looks like you and I are in the same mindset today Grover, thanks so much for writing and sharing. Enjoyed. |
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