Open Poetry #31 |
On the Shore of Reality |
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Casting out with weighed line into the night Pausing there with stayed mind away from light Watching those which played without the briefest look, Catching their movements as they fled from sight. Without hook once more do they slip away, Weighed line still dangles in the pool of night. Gloom |
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© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Dear Professor, I feel this one, as if the line was cast in distance here. I can only say that whoever did this probably cared and has weighing line, too. Your Passions in Poetry friend, Sadelite |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
Yep, characteristically gloomy, dear. Look at that word on the 3rd line: "briefest". Funny. I laugh at this word, because it is correct, but doesn't it look goofy? Yes, your poem was gloomy, but that one particular word, read with my warped sense of the alphabet, made me laugh. You remind me of Oscar the Grouch, Gloom, and I mean that in a very endearing way. On the appearance, Oscar seems callous and gloom-loving, but inside, he's the one Sesame Street character I would trust...he's quite compassionate. Thought for the day! McLean |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
How about the Snows of Reality Me |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"Watching those which played without the briefest look" That line alone...is enough to make one pause... love ya Gloomy one! "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Good metaphor, Gloom. BEEEEwell. |
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