Open Poetry #31 |
Odds Are |
Adonis Cross Junior Member
since 2003-04-07
Posts 46Miami, FL, USA |
Ours would be a love so golden, Gold itself would seem like stones. Ours would be a romance rolled in Loving words and tender tones. You and I would surely share a Passion never witnessed yet-- Something like a modern era Romeo and Juliet. You'd awaken to my kisses Worshiping your stirring head; Then we'd show the world what bliss is Comfortably, from our bed. Afternoons we'd go out strolling Lazily along our beach, Sparkling waves serenely rolling, Private paradise in each. Near the night we'd sing while sailing Out to sea; with every strain, Harmony and peace prevailing, Happiness in each refrain. Resting on Utopia's water, Lying with your hand in mine, We would mingle with the otter Gazing up at flying swine. [This message has been edited by Adonis Cross (02-13-2004 04:38 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2004 Adonis Cross - All Rights Reserved | |||
Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Well written! Nice images! Grover. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This poem is so beautifully crafted - the rhymes are ingenious, and the message is consistent throughout. I couldn't figure out how the title related to the theme of the phrases until that last line - killer! Shoot - the last word! That takes a lot of thought. Like great athletes, great poets make it look easy. You made this poem flow so well, how could it not be easy? That's the way it left me feeling. |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Oh Yes!!! Beautiful, and your rhythms move so lyrically as the waves you speak of...~P |
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Terrina Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166California |
This is awesome. The flow is great. It tells a story. IT places the reader on that water. Great |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Excellent write here. Enjoyed. Chris "At one glance |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
fantastic! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Cool....when pigs fly....cool. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
neat write here...I liked it! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I apologize - I almost never do this, but this poem deserves a second bump. |
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