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Teen Poetry #7
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Prisoners of our fears
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Prisoners of our fears |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Have we become prisoners of our fears We are living but not really here Because we are afraid of change Life is easier when you live the same Existing within what light has shown Scared to step towards the unknown Creating our own limitations Trapped by creations of our imaginations Preconceived notions lead to distorted perceptions Our lives don't have to be filled with deception Perhaps one day we will face our fears one by one Fear should not interfer with who we are to become And yet we are living but not really here We have all become prisoners of our fears... Any feedback on this would be most appreciated!! [This message has been edited by ShadyMakaveli (03-04-2004 07:57 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
I do believe most of us are prisoners of our fears, I also think that this poem was really good, but at some points I found that it didn't flow right. That could just be me though, but anyways nice write  .-Ash Im a child. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I like the way you state your thoughts simply and clearly; it helped get your point across. For me, it took me longer to get into the poem because of the somewhat weak rhyming at the beginning, but once the rhyming got going, it was very easy to read. You might want to change this to a free verse or reword the first few lines to get a stronger opening. Other than that, good job. -Leah |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Thank you all for your repsonses, it is extremly appreciated, i am using this in a project and hoped it was somewhat decent, thanx again for the responses. |
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