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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-09-22 08:28 PM

relative blindness

sometimes i wish i was blind,
dark shades covering my eyes,
then i could never look behind,
at the mistakes i've never made right.
believing your touch is easy,
when my eyes can function.
will it be there when there's no need
for the distinction?
just to feel the cool of your breath,
i'd give anything.
to hear the rythm of your step
guiding me.
your outstretched arms are out there,
im searching for them now.
i bet you're looking at my blank stare,
i imagine your wonderful eyes turned down.
longings to really see you,
blanket my deepest soul.
if there was something i could do,
i would once again become whole.
this is imagined blindness,
brought on by distance.
only to have closeness,
could dispel my visual resistance.

sunshinemc
Junior Member

since 2003-09-20

Posts 27

1 posted 2003-09-22 10:02 PM

I really like this one, they way you put your feelings into words is tight. Keep writin, i look forward to keep readin.
<3

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2003-09-23 01:30 AM

Very nice job on this, young_blood.
I enjoyed this.
~Vicky
When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

3 posted 2003-09-25 12:52 PM

Wow...
I thought this was very unique and well written. You express yourself so vividly with your metaphor of blindness/darkness. Loved the read...thank you.
-Kristin

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

Toasty
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

4 posted 2003-09-25 01:47 PM

Wow... I really identified with this. Powerful and just... an all-around good read. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

5 posted 2003-09-25 04:28 PM

This poem is absolutely beautiful!

"then i could never look behind,
at the mistakes i've never made right"

That was most def. my favorite part! Great work!!! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

6 posted 2003-09-26 01:38 PM

i have to agree with the others grate work. keep righting

Teardrops
New Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 1
Ca Usa

7 posted 2003-09-27 04:08 PM

It's amazing I wonder who you write about though

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

8 posted 2003-10-23 10:00 AM

good onnnnnneeeeeeeee

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

9 posted 2003-10-23 11:49 AM

"then i could never look behind,
at the mistakes i've never made right"
Beautiful line...

Wow, beautiful work. This poem is just awesome. The more I read of your poetry, the more I grow to love it. Your vocabulary is absolutely perfect! You definitely have a gift for reaching people. Nice job. Loved, absolutely loved you.

You're definitely getting threaded to my library!

*I figured out that trust was just my one mistake...*

garysgirl