Teen Poetry #7 |
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Without You |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
My eyes are wide open, While my body drifts into a restless sleep, Tossing and turning throughout the night, Sweet dreams have now become tragic nightmares, Your presence is there night and day, Tormenting my battered heart, Just wanting to have yours, Is the pain I cannot take, Letting go is much to fathom, Superstitions tell me to find closure, While I'm wishing for a future, Leaving my memories behind is impossible, Knowing there is not a thing I can do, I still wake up each morning, And face the day, Without you. "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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© Copyright 2003 Jessica Dodson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
This was good Jess...Like I said "restless sleep" HUGE oxymoron. Loved it. lol....yeah thats all. LATE~ "I'm tired of being what you want me to be."~Linkin Park |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This was good. I totally feel your pain. Lately I too have spent many nights in "restless sleep". Jen "Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
yo yo yo, word dog i feel you. (this has been a gangsta thought from hatred) |
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Finalinsomnia New Member
since 2003-10-07
Posts 8Washington, USA |
"Restless nights" are never fun. As for the poem it was over all ok, with a great ending. I liked the last line, wrapped everything up all nice and pretty. "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
I agree with Staci..."Restless sleep". I really like where you said 'tormenting my battered heart, just wanting to have yours...' Beautiful job. Loves. "I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..." |
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Silent Evincar Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179Here There and Places Between |
"I still wake up each morning. And face the day. Without you." I Love how the whole piece adds up to these last three lines, as it should. It all seemed to come together with the restless sleep and the tormented heart. Vey touching and meaningful. Nice. NJS |
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