»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
misunderstood heartbeats
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
misunderstood heartbeats |
|
|
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN 
|
I saw a special boy today, one with big, thick glasses and a plain round face that complimented his bald head. this boy was so emotionless until his father left for a minute, then the boy burst into tears, this boy loves his father more than i ever will. if only i could understand love and nothing else in the world, i would be wiser than anyone, i would love you dad, with all my heart. now im alone, but not lonely like before |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This poem was different. I liked that at first. It was odd and then at the end went in a different direction. Keep writing and I hope your relationship with your father improves. "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
||
|
drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
Young- Hey man, this one was definetly different. Especially compared to all your other poems. Not bad, just different. Although, I do have to say that I think I like your others better. This one just seemed a little too simple. Like you were rushed when your wrote it or something. I like the shift you have, but it still just seems a little too simple. (Still, a lot better than many I see here). |
||
|
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
ya it was strange. it was just kinda written in 5 seconds, meaning more to me than anyone else. thanks for the feedback though. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
