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Teen Poetry #7

untitled sadness

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-02-06 11:37 AM

sadness come and sleep with me tonight
strip my dirty mind of hope and laughter
replace it with reality of the fights
the mistrust interupting our breathing.

i wish for my lips to freeze in this sleet
and for the snow to suffocate my single eye
that awakens the pain inside just to meet
the freezing cold that burns us all to callousness.

theres a place that none can hide
its lost behind the tears of all who believe,
lets embrace the love that died
still left in the marraige sheets.

none fill my void or my lack of heart
braindead in this shell of a boy
shallow in my grave from the start
i cant wait to be lowered for good.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Ixxi
Member

since 2004-01-02

Posts 77
England

1 posted 2004-02-06 01:15 PM

This one is quite deep, i especially like the vocabulary you chose. Nice job. x

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-02-07 09:20 PM

thanks

Snickers123
Member

since 2004-05-07

Posts 94
United States-Iowa

3 posted 2004-08-07 10:33 AM

I agree, it is deep, nice write

~*.:Leah:.*~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

4 posted 2004-08-07 11:05 AM

I agree with them..it is deep.

It was sad too, and
i loved the ending.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2004-08-07 02:25 PM

kissa, once again, thank you for bringing back one of my old ones.

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