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Teen Poetry #7
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Me and You
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Me and You |
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yankees01rugby Junior Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 48USA |
its been a long tiem since i have posted anything here...i have a little bit of writers block. This is me That is you. I am not a lonely little girl in the corner I am not a stuck up brat always around people. I care about the quality of my friendships Not how many i can get. I wont drink or do drugs until I want You do it to be 'cool'. I wear clothes the symbolize me I dont have two closets full You wear what everyone else does Sometimes two sizes too small You must have three closets. Most of you are teachers pets I talk to them when i have to. You are on multiple sports teams You complain of it all the time I am in one sports club Which i wish to play everyday. That is you and I See the differnce? I do and i never want to be you. Love is like quicksand, the deeper you fall the harder it is to get out |
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| © Copyright 2004 Katie Milanese - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Yay! You go, girl!! This is powerful  Ill leave critique to someone who knows what they are talking about!Liz x "Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake |
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drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
In terms of the message, I like it. Never conform to what everyone else does. However, in terms of the writing, its just kind of boring. Your explaining everything here, and it almost sounds more like it should be in paragraph form the way it is. I recomend just reading some more poems here, and seeing how people describe different things. In poetry, its often more powerful not to simply say what you want... Describe it eloquently. |
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