Teen Poetry #7 |
![]() ![]() |
Held together |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
greco Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 85buffalo ny ![]() |
Hey everyone i was wondering if you could help me out i wrote this and was wondering if you had any suggestion good or bad let me know i need criticism to get better so it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Just waiting here right now Just watching time fly by Watching life do what it does best; Taking, Making, Breaking Crying out, not to be heard. When will it be learned, That to get you must give. So many beautiful things, yet always the bad Taking over all good, just to destroy. Believing in many god’s yet selfish to think That they are the only ones. Some caring, Some not, Breaking into separate lives Brought back together by the one thing holding them down. Trying to teach; Some have learned Most have not and it always will stay. [This message has been edited by greco (01-29-2004 09:42 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2004 greg - All Rights Reserved | |||
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
hmmm.....it wasnt awesome or anything. it was solid though. ummm...i cant think of any suggestions right now, but if i think of them i'll be sure to post them. -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |