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Teen Poetry #7

beautiful

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2004-01-27 09:22 PM

I press my palms into my eyes and they shift backward into my skull.
I try to stop them.
But the angry men start to chant,
and perform their ritual of pouring hot water through my eyes.
Stupid wetness.
There must be a faulty pipe in my brain.
I want to escape.
Take me somewhere beautiful.
Won't someone beautiful come and grab my hand.

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2004-01-28 11:41 AM

I've been waiting for someone too....probably everyone is....nicely expressed.

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2004-01-28 07:16 PM

Excellent poem, I like the length and you got your emotions across very well.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing this is going in my library.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

3 posted 2004-01-29 08:25 PM

Lexy,
Wow. This is exactly what you labeled this post. Beautiful.

Excellent word choices. I really loved this one. The last line really is great. Awesome job!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-01-29 08:48 PM

i liked it all. the length worked well. you could even add alot onto it and turn into more of prose. great work though
-alex

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