Teen Poetry #7 |
Never Knew I Was Losing You |
SixtiesChick03 Junior Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 49NV |
I never knew I was losing you Until you went and walked away I never even had the chance To try and make you stay If I knew how it was going to end I would've done it all differently I would've made sure That you had seen That I love you now And I loved you then And there's no way in heck that I can be Just your friend I'll love you forever Always until the end of time But I never knew I was losing you Until you were no longer mine There's nothing left here for me to do Except try to mend my heart But no matter how much glue I use It's still missing a part And you don't see That you hold it in your hand It's stuck on the end of that knife you hold That silver piece of metal that you stuck right into me I didn't know I had it coming Because I was too blind to see And I never knew I was losing you Until you were already gone And it kills me more than ever before Every time I hear that song But it's all my fault that I'm going crazy and out of my right mind Because I never knew I was losing you Until you were no longer mine |
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© Copyright 2004 Sharlene - All Rights Reserved | |||
sweet_lost_palestinian1 Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 90 |
hi,,this poem is sooooo soo good eep writing plzzz....u should start posting poems ..even though it does not rythm but u put like all ur heart in it great work.. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This is good. I really related to it. Good job, and thanks for the read. Jen Whoever said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" obviously never loved. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Very heartfelt piece, strong. Beautiful work. Wonderful job of expressing your emotions. Thank you for sharing. W.W. |
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lone_rider Junior Member
since 2004-01-20
Posts 19 |
Hey GREAT poem keep writing!!!! |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Very nice but sad....it read like a song to me. Keep up the great work. ~sky Hold on, if you feel like letting go |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
I'm about to cry! This poem states exactly what's been on my mind for the last 7 months! Great work, this is def going into my library! ~Jess "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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chicken Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44 |
definately going in my library awesome poem and soooooo true! this poem made me think but what if i tell the person will it make it worse??? oh shall i wait for my love to realise? HELP anyway thanx for a great read |
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ascending_ecstasy Member
since 2004-01-21
Posts 102 |
Okay well, there is some forced rhyming. Which isn't good. Rhyming should be free, I think that pieces with mixed rhyming and abstract, don't read as well. It should either rhyme, or be abstract. It is a good piece though, keep it up, and watch your structure. |
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