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Teen Poetry #7

Happy Anniversary

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

0 posted 2003-10-02 04:02 PM

You gazed out the window
and didn't see me seeing you
out of the corner my eye.
I watched -
I waited -
for something about this
to strike you:
my hand on your hand,
the glow of candle light,
the song on the radio...
But if anything about this was moving,
it was lost on you.
You stared blankly at nothing
in my general direction,
and I stirred my coffee,
too proud to point out
that it was our song.

Nights like these leave me longing for
anything but the in-between.

Moments go unnoticed.
Romantic gestures become polite routine.
Suggestive glances replaced by rolling eyes.
I want us back.

365 miles from where we started.
365 steps to an unemotional existence.
365 reasons why you brush off my hand
to check your watch.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

1 posted 2003-10-02 04:47 PM

Can I say that you have given me new meaning to my writings now. The last stanza with the whole 365 reasons is great. The whole in-between idea is nice for this, I have no negative comments. Its understandable, relatable, and meaningful. Bravo.

NJS

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

2 posted 2003-10-02 06:34 PM

BEAUTIFUL...this was full of emotion and saddness-i hope u get what u want, i have nothing more to say, this was great, thanx 4 another great read Kandi.

~sha-sha

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

3 posted 2003-10-02 10:45 PM

this was very well done! I also liked the 365 thing you used at the end, added alot of interest to the poem. great job!!

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-10-03 11:59 AM

all too familiar is this poem to my life. dont let him slip away, all he needs is understanding. or maybe im just speaking to you as if....never mind. beautiful, beautiful poem.

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