Teen Poetry #7 |
Mended Wing |
RedDiamond1307 Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 20 |
When I look in your brown eyes, For some reason I choose to believe. In you I can tell no broken lies, I hope you never leave. In ignoble people I don’t trust, They killed me once to many. All leaving my heart out to rust, You won’t hurt me that way if any. If you could of seen me before, The love I gave and got took. The strong heart that he tore, How I was so disturbingly hooked. The one that hurt me so, still lived in my heart and my mind. To him I could never say no, In his hateful eyes I was bind. So many have done me wrong, could never hold my head high. I wasted my love for oh so long, and could never figure out why. You’re the one who helped me forget, the man who broke my heart and soul. In your arms I’ll never regret, that you took my heart and made it whole. I must ask you one small thing, Before we gently kiss and part, I can’t bare another broken wing, So Please be gentle with my heart. |
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Snickers123 Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 94United States-Iowa |
I liked it, it was nice to be able to realate to it, nice write. ~*.:Leah:.*~ |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
I really liked it. Nice right! Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Awesome. I can totally relate to this. Great work! ~Jess "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
The rhyme was...so forced. I think you would have been able to allow yourself so much more room to say what you wanted without that constriction. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
The rhyming was alittle forced, but I think that this is a nice poem because so many people are able to relate to it, including me... ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* |
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