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Teen Poetry #7

inverted love

swinging2bbvd
Junior Member

since 2003-10-02

Posts 14

0 posted 2003-10-02 01:03 PM

i was inspired to post this poem by Olive_8's "I Don't Know" here you go.

Inverted Love
To my lost love... ~Chandra

Crusted flakes of forgotten fate flaking,
No longer stand our dreams we were making.
Love is for naught, there be no good token,
Only stained thought, from a heart left broken.
In isolated cold, heart and mind severe,
Depression takes hold; my soul lost forever.
Past pleasure in reverse, memories rotten,
Constantly cursed, cause none be forgotten.
Of times I soothed you, and dried your sad tears,
Of times I moved you, 'bout our future years.
Of times, I penetrated, your firm heart,
And lovingly stated, my odes of art
Of you I caught: though now I realize
Love is for naught; it's merely mythic lies.

Ronald J Walsh

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

1 posted 2003-10-02 05:04 PM

Boo Yah!! Now this is excellent, constant rythmn all the way to the end. Long enough to describe and short enough to pull you in. You've got to teach me how to do that. Sorry, I'm just impressed. If you send more I'll comment more thats for sure.

NJS

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

2 posted 2003-10-02 10:43 PM

excellent work!! thanks for sharing

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-10-03 12:23 PM

excellent write.

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