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Teen Poetry #7

untitled

SixtiesChick03
Junior Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 49
NV

0 posted 2004-01-08 11:47 PM

'I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay
It's burning within me
The fear of losing
Of slipping away
It just keeps getting closer, baby
Whatever reason to leave that I've had
My place was always beside you
And I wish that I didn't need you so bad
Your face just won't go away'

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

1 posted 2004-01-09 07:00 PM

this one makes me think a little, like why the subject of the poem would leave. well. i like it. its a little short. and the flow is a little sketchy. but i like it. good work

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

2 posted 2004-02-01 12:31 PM

well id like to say that the rhyming was forced and it didnt flow.

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2004-02-01 10:03 AM

Do we ever know the real reason someone leaves? Even if they give a reason, is it the real one?
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

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