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Teen Poetry #7

Let it come from within

the_fortress
Junior Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 28

0 posted 2004-01-02 06:18 PM

This room is filled with light
In this room I’m not alone
Your smile I see in memory
I’m missing you again
This feeling comes at wrong times
Times when I cant see you
When I cant overcome it

Let it come from within
Your feelings will come out
Please don’t lie
Just be honest
Let it go
I will be here when it hurts
We will work as one

Don’t put your hopeless mask on
To hide your true self
I like you the way you are
Behind that mask
I know your in pain
But I will take it away somehow

Ixxi
Member

since 2004-01-02

Posts 77
England

1 posted 2004-01-02 07:02 PM

Touching. I like it very much. Although I think the ending could do with some improvement.. I like the way it's set out, I like the subject you've chosen and I like your ideas.

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

2 posted 2004-01-02 07:03 PM

i like this one, and that 'person' your writing about, has some mountains to walk over. just be there for him, and he will open up

the_fortress
Junior Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 28

3 posted 2004-01-02 11:53 PM

Hi, thanks for the comments. I thought doing this would make me more confident but it doesn't. Too bad...And by the way munchos, i'm a guy.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

4 posted 2004-01-03 02:31 AM

Very heartfelt. I like what I've read from you so far, you seem to write with your emotions more than anything and I really enjoy and respect that.
~Live and Laugh~

Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less
~Bella~

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