Golden Goblets made of Dirty Clay

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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-12-24 07:33 AM

Golden Goblets made of Dirty Clay

Let's break clay glasses
and then try to fill them
with torn hallway passes
and goodbyes cut short by time.
pick up the scattered peices
and try to melt them together,
but the thought was in the thesis;
it was never meant to be reforged.
keep your hands somewhat clean
by keeping out of messy situations
and hide your thoughts behind the mean
of the sum of your fancy words.
left to rely on the others
to help me through the pain,
you were never a significant other,
but you were so much more.
Do you like who*ing yourself away
to those who have no concern for you?
Do you ever miss the days
when lemonade cost 10 cents?
I'd take you back to those years
and help you find the joyful gi*l again,
i'd look deep into your empty eyes of fear
and see so much of what i once loved.

for me love isnt a feeling,
its a choice made in my head.
I watched when you were kneeling
and prayed for you to return.
The angel of deth is now
the guardian angel of your choice,
but you done notice the danger around
and the way your eyes sink farther away.
come back to this grown up boy
and become your little gi*l again,
we'll run for the days of joy
and dance in the rain for free.
i'll help you get your hands dirty,
molding, dhaping, creating new glasses,
the clay will dry to be so pretty
and we'll drink our fill from life.
come join me in my dance,
for the rain only lasts so long;
come join me in childhood romance,
for the offer stands as long as you live.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Purple Poet On Wheels
Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 145
Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA

1 posted 2003-12-26 02:26 PM

like the title... beaking the poem into smaller stanzas would mmake it easier to read

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2003-12-26 04:49 PM

yay!! a post! thanks alot

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-12-27 03:11 PM

I really enjoyed this piece. It was insightful to the different parts of the human soul and the imagery was captivating as usual. I especailly liked the references to the clay glasses and having to get down and dirty to rebuild them. I think that one think that has intimidated people away from this truly lovely peice is its length. Perhaps try breaking it up a bit, so that the reader has a minute to think between the thoughts so to speak. Overall very beautiful poem.
~Live and Laugh~

Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less
~Bella~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2003-12-28 03:01 PM

thank you bella, your comments mean alot to me

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