Teen Poetry #7 |
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Golden Goblets made of Dirty Clay |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN ![]() |
Golden Goblets made of Dirty Clay Let's break clay glasses and then try to fill them with torn hallway passes and goodbyes cut short by time. pick up the scattered peices and try to melt them together, but the thought was in the thesis; it was never meant to be reforged. keep your hands somewhat clean by keeping out of messy situations and hide your thoughts behind the mean of the sum of your fancy words. left to rely on the others to help me through the pain, you were never a significant other, but you were so much more. Do you like who*ing yourself away to those who have no concern for you? Do you ever miss the days when lemonade cost 10 cents? I'd take you back to those years and help you find the joyful gi*l again, i'd look deep into your empty eyes of fear and see so much of what i once loved. for me love isnt a feeling, its a choice made in my head. I watched when you were kneeling and prayed for you to return. The angel of deth is now the guardian angel of your choice, but you done notice the danger around and the way your eyes sink farther away. come back to this grown up boy and become your little gi*l again, we'll run for the days of joy and dance in the rain for free. i'll help you get your hands dirty, molding, dhaping, creating new glasses, the clay will dry to be so pretty and we'll drink our fill from life. come join me in my dance, for the rain only lasts so long; come join me in childhood romance, for the offer stands as long as you live. now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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© Copyright 2003 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Purple Poet On Wheels Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 145Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA |
like the title... beaking the poem into smaller stanzas would mmake it easier to read |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
yay!! a post! thanks alot |
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*Belabebeautiful*![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I really enjoyed this piece. It was insightful to the different parts of the human soul and the imagery was captivating as usual. I especailly liked the references to the clay glasses and having to get down and dirty to rebuild them. I think that one think that has intimidated people away from this truly lovely peice is its length. Perhaps try breaking it up a bit, so that the reader has a minute to think between the thoughts so to speak. Overall very beautiful poem. ~Live and Laugh~ Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you bella, your comments mean alot to me |
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