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Teen Poetry #7
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Stick and stones may break my bones but word can kill my soul
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Stick and stones may break my bones but word can kill my soul |
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yvetters_24 Member
since 2006-08-27
Posts 52california |
Stick and stones may break my bones but word can kill my soul Back to the days when I was 8 When alls I heard was hate Another “mother” who tore my life down And life it in pieces on the ground Memories I wouldn’t soon forget Because u were supposed to be my outlet The year have come and gone I can’t lie its still a challenge to carrie on It’s hard to live with you Because of all the things u used to say and do Like telling me you wish u was gone You supposed to tell me to keep pressing on After that day I would just sit and pray Staring out the window Wishing I could just go But never could Sometimes I wish I would As the years went on The pains grew strong The holes in the wall left hollow Tells of the future that would soon follow From my wrist there came bright red drops of blood Tears soon began to flood I sit on the floor Watching the door Now 16 years old I stand strong and bold You never new how much destruction your word caused it left me with even more flaws But you see Sticks and stones may break my bones but your word will never hurt me |
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| © Copyright 2006 yvetters_24 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
this was really good but i've got a couple hints. 1) watch your spelling, technically you've got poetic freedom but try using "you" instead of "u". 2) remember to add an "s" on the words that need it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi yvetters_24, WElcome to piptalk!~ Awesome first post, ya know? I like this kind of poem, it tells how you are down, feeling weak, at first, and than it kind of builds you up, you find yourself. It's a very encouraging kind of poem, at least to me... Anyways, like I said welcome, I hope you enjoy the site. I'll be looking forward to reading more of your work, until than, thanks for sharing  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
welcome to passions! its very good to have you. this was a very good post for being your first one, im rather suprised. it was a great poem, but i'd also like to say watch your spelling and the words you use. Sometimes its harder to understand poetry if its written like "stick and stone may break my bones but word can kill my soul" instead of "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can kill my soul" just a suggestion, but this was a very good write. thanks for joining and sharing! |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
WELCOME TO PIP..... i hope you enjoy it... that was a great poem i really felt you through your words.... i have to agree though maybe proofread it before you post it... but i'm know i rarley do that...:P great first post thanks for sharing... hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Welcome to Pip!! I really enjoyed this poem by you, I would also just simply suggest to spell-check and fix grammar errors before posting. It will make this great poem just that much better and easier to read. Once again, welcome! I hope to read more from you soon! ~Alli~ |
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patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
I must agree with everyone else when i say, watch the spelling, it takes away from the whole poem. "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
wow that was a great poem it tells a story that grabs at the heart but as the others have said it would be much easier to read when the speliing is proof read |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
i just wanted to add you to my library you are such a good poet and i forgot to do it in my last post just thought i would say how good this poem was |
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Pinkilicious543 New Member
since 2007-11-14
Posts 1 |
I just wanted 2 say dat yo poem was hecka tight |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
nice poem. Trulty i liked it |
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