Your love is... - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #7

Your love is...

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2006-08-19 05:55 PM

your love is like a needle peircing my heart,
just like a knife it rips it apart,
again it goes through in and out,
it's killing me slowly without a doubt,

my mind tells me it's enough,
it's not worth it, being this tough,
but my heart makes me stay,
and i sit in misery each day,

your love is like a gun to my head,
just one shot and i'd be dead,
again it's held waiting,
the barrel still rotating,

i'm sliding into the void of despair,
even if you knew you wouldn't care
i'm trying to block it out like everyone tries,
so i'll pretend to be fine and wipe my eyes,

again it's held wating,
but the barrel stopped rotating,
again it went through in and out,
he's killed me slowly without a doubt.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-08-19 08:49 PM

I really like the 'without a doubt' part.. great job..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

broken_smile1469
Member

since 2006-07-02

Posts 104

2 posted 2006-08-20 01:49 AM

i really liked this one. Great Write!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-08-20 10:06 PM

"your love is like a gun to my head,
just one shot and i'd be dead,
again it's held waiting,
the barrel still rotating"

My favorite part^^ That is if I had to choose a favorite part. The whole poem is wonderful. It's just that this part really sticks out to me because I've never thought of love in this way. It's different, yet, I like the comparison.

I loved this poem. It is one of my favorites that you have written.

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.