A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

Hey hunnie_girl,

I’m going to try and give you some “constructive criticism” but I’m not sure if it will work, cause most of my ideas are junk that you should ignore (don’t tell anyone though) so here we go…

First off, in the first stanza, it’s a little hard to understand where you are coming from, especially when you say the last two lines. You need something to embellish the story, make it more understandable, and tell us why your heart is lost to this person. In fact the whole poem, in my opinion, needs more to it. You have a great middle sort of part but you need a beginning and an end, no offence.

I think that you have a great general idea to build upon though. It just seems to need a little bit more work, not much though, because the idea that your heart is lost to this person is a great idea and I think, with some more work, on your part this could become a great poem…

The “heartfelt acid rain” was my favorite part in this whole poem. It’s a great descriptive word for the feeling of pain you get when something like this happens. I think that you described it perfectly…

So, I apologize about sounding so negative on everything, but I do want to thank you for posting something for us to all read/enjoy. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next and until than I’ll be waiting to read more from you

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
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