The path of never ending pian, Pleas reply this one took a lot of thought

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Teen Poetry #7

The path of never ending pian, Pleas reply this one took a lot of thought

martina
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 59

0 posted 2003-11-28 07:26 PM

I use to fallow you where ever you went I would be there. I cry please don't go there I can not fallow, You procced down the path of never ending pian. You claim "it is where I belong" I tell it is not. I stand watching saying why are you doing this? You seem to not understand it is the path to never ending pian I try to tell you but you are to stubern to care about what I think you just want to keep out of your misery but it is putting me into misery. Think about it for a minute? I really cared you seemed to at the beging but then it went down from there. Later you will ask me, When will the path of never ending pian end?

[This message has been edited by martina (11-28-2003 09:49 PM).]

Hockeychick19
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 430
Massachusetts, USA

1 posted 2003-11-28 10:22 PM

Carrie,

This is sad, but it's also a good write...
Keep on writing

~Kelly~

Life is a gift so live it to the fullest!

martina
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 59

2 posted 2003-11-28 10:26 PM

Thanks kelly that means a lot comming from you.

martina

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

3 posted 2003-11-29 12:58 PM

All that I can say is that I really liked reading this, keep up the good work! :o)

*~*Nessa Bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

4 posted 2003-11-29 01:22 PM

The emotions in this are powerful and very raw.

Please keep writing; this craft takes time to master.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2003-11-29 01:44 PM

Hi,

I too thought you had a lot of emotion to write about in this, and I did take it upon myself to reformat your poem and correct the spelling and was going to make a couple of suggestions to you, (not a critque,)but hopefully something you might see as many ways to present the same poem. I see you had no internal email to send it along to. If you would like to see it "changed a tad", and also a different look at the same poem you email me and I will sure send it to you.

Keep on writing - you have the core of what makes a good writer.

Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-29-2003 01:46 PM).]

martina
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 59

6 posted 2003-11-29 10:25 PM

oh thank you all so much for your relpys it really helps.
Martina

[This message has been edited by martina (11-30-2003 02:31 PM).]

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