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Teen Poetry #7

3 short says

synthetic
Member

since 2006-06-10

Posts 70
ontario, canada

0 posted 2006-08-01 10:51 PM

My words are my hands reaching you.
Fall into my arms
and know the beat of my heart.
Fall out of the void our seperation has created
and know the beat of our hearts as one.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-08-02 01:53 AM

Hi synthetic,

Nice job on this poem. I like how you can say so much with so little words! Makes me slightly jealous, I always say a lot without saying anything... lol

"Fall out of the void our seperation has created"

This is my favorite part in the whole poem. That is if I had to choose a favorite, it's hard because you have some very good lines in this... Yet, I'll go with this one because I like how you use some interesting words in this. Words that are understandable yet complex enough to make it interesting, if that makes sense? If not, all well...

Thanks for sharing though, it was a pleasure to read

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

2 posted 2006-08-11 08:48 PM

Fall into my arms
and know the beat of my heart.

i really like this part. i don't know why but it just stood out to me.
But nice write.

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