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cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

0 posted 2006-07-25 08:38 AM

Do you love me? I ask, as your feet shuffling in the beach sand, When I was waiting for your answer, I was looking around. I saw an old couple reach for eachothers hand, as they ran together in the crashing waves. Wishing that would be us some day, but knowing that we will never get that chance. Only because you want our relationship to make since. I'm sorry baby, but that's not how love goes. You just have to see how things flow. I really don't want to end a beautiful thing. What is this a fling? Are you putting on a show?......... Then he finally said," Baby I really don't know?"

broken_smile1469
Member

since 2006-07-02

Posts 104

1 posted 2006-07-25 04:45 PM

i liked this one a lot! i can really relate to it. i love poems that i can relate to but anyways, great write! hope to see more by you.

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-07-25 04:52 PM

"I'm sorry baby, but that's not how love goes. You just have to see how things flow. I really don't want to end a beautiful thing. What is this a fling? Are you putting on a show?......... Then he finally said," Baby I really don't know?""

Wow! I loved this stanza, I had something, almost exactly, like this happen to me. Well, at least he told me he didn't know either. I hate that, yet, I like this poem.

I think you did a great job with this, it is something I can relate well too... Yes, I also like things I can relate well too.

Btw, You might want to change the "dou" to "do", just so you know... Cause i'm thinking that was supposed to be "do".

Anyway, thanks for sharing again!

@-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

3 posted 2006-07-25 05:34 PM

At first I was kind of not flowing with this in the beginning if you know what i mean. but the end pulled it together. I loved it.. this is a great piece by you.. keep em coming..

~heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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