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Teen Poetry #7
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A bruised body, a destroyed life
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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A bruised body, a destroyed life |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
This is a story about a friend of mine. When i heard it, it really affected me. I havent seen her for a few months so i decided to write this to express the way i felt about it. Sitting in the bathroom The test in her hand The color read positive She hardly could stand A girl or a boy whatever it may be in nine months she'd have her boyfriends baby She left work and went home and knew just what to do she told her shocked parents and away she flew She hid out for months but something went wrong and it wasnt too long till the cops came along when she got home she wished she could die "you aint havin that baby" she heard them both cry She ran for her room but her father was there and he punched her so hard she was left rasping for air in the stomach he hit her again and again it seemed like the beating was not going to end her mother was watching it all from aloft and she decided to pick up where the father left off she hit her as hard as her father had it was hard to believe this was her mom and her dad she went to her bedroom her face stained with tears the trauma from this would affect her for years She wanted to get married and THEN have a child and hold the small babe so meek and so mild. But that dream had come far before she was wed now, as she lay crying her baby lay dead But now with the young child's life that was lost someday her parents must pay the cost Years from now, in a world that from our eyes is hid her parents must pay for the things that they did and then on that day on God's shoulder, she'll sob for the life of her baby that her parents did rob On that painfull day the poor girl went through hell but I know that through Him all things will be well. It may have just been a rumor, but i know she was pregnant and i know she ran away, and i know i havent seen her since her parents found her. I hope its not true but if it is, may god have mercy. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is so sad... I hope it's not true and that everything is okay, as well as can be expected i guess... The way you expressed how things were going on was great,that's all i can really say, the content of the poem makes me so sad that it's hard to think about anything else. I guess you relayed the emotions you wanted felt through... I haven't seen a whole lot of your work, but i have enjoyed your comments and now i hope that you'll be posting more poems for everyone to read. You are one amazing poet  @-->--- |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Well thank you very much. I cant tell you how much it affected me. This girl was a very close friend of mine. Im still trying to get in touch with her to see if she's okay. Love always! John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
WOW. this was sad and emotional. It's like I could see everything happening in my head. It's so sad. I hope things are well. You are a great writer I can tell from just this one poem. I agree with stargal.. I hope you post more for everyone to read. Great great job.  ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
OMGOSH... I hope that it was a rumor, that's so sad. I almost cried while I was reaading it. Good write though, but very sad. |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Well, i dont know if i should thank you or apologize. My old town has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation, but i didnt notice it much until this year. I had alot of friends who got pregnant or who thought they were pregnant. and this story was just the cherry on top of a really terrible year. Like i said, im trying to find her to see if shes ok so wish me luck. Thank you for commenting! i really appreciate it Love Always John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
Wow, I'm so sorry! I've had a lot of friends and family get pregnant before marriage, but nothing like that. I really hope your friend's OK, and tell us if you find out, please! This is really good, despite the awful subject matter. You put your emotions on paper very well...good job! p.s. (You're OK, right?) When I stopped trying to find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me. |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
so powerful. i know a girl who was pregnant and she was beaten by her father luckily the baby is alive and i think it stopped now |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
This is an amazing poem. Sad. yes. so very sad. I never thought there was anything worse than abortion. there still isnt but this comes close. the grandparents beating the life out of it...man...thats awful Thank you for sharing this poem. Its the best i've read in a while I'm sorry about what happened. like everyone else, i pray it was a rumor. God be with the poor girl. |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Hey thanks guys i really appreciate it. Im sorry i had to use such a painful subject, but in order to inspire the feelings that poetry is supposed to bring out in people, sometimes the dialogue must affect on a very painful personal level. A good poet can inspire those feelings with poems about the weather or about what they ate for breakfast, but im not that good and i just have to go with the feelings that are right on top, which can tend to be the most painful. Thanks for all the comments! Love Always John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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forgotten1 New Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 3al, usa |
i thought it was really sad. my best friend just had a baby. she tried to kill it. she dehydrated 8 times while she was pregnant with him. he weighs 5lbs 5oz. that is really good how you can get people to relate to it. *forgotten1* |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Oh by the way guys, i really hate the title on this, so if you have any good ideas, please let me know so i can change it. John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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SarBear Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205Massachusetts |
I really like this. The rhythm is great and the story is amazing. |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
A good poet aim's to get his/her message across. The goal is not always to inspire, but occasionally to make the audience aware of the good/bad that the world is full of. I strongly believe you fit this description, you, John, are a good writer. Keep sharing your poetry with us, it really can get through to people! Love bunches! Michelle |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Hey thanks! i really appreciate your insight. umm...this is to everyone that has read this, i just talked to one of her friends and i found out that only her stepmom was beating her, and she went and told the cops and apparently her baby is alright. thanks to everyone for all your comments!!! love alway jOhNnYo True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
glad to hear that! thanks for the info. well actually im not glad to hear that her stepmom was beating her...uhh you know what i mean! |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
ya i liked it , i could see what was happening as i read, it was really clear, very sad but very amazing. question for Bekalekah45, why dont you like abortion?? btw very good read . |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
abortion is murder! who in there right mind would want to kill an innocent baby! okay if you're a mother and cant take care of it, put it up for adoption, dont kill the poor thing. Imagine it liek this, you have a baby in your arms and you decide one day i dont want you so let me just go have a doctor kill you. Even though the baby isnt out yet, it doesnt mean its not alive. abortion = horrible. 100% against it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I'm with bekah on this one and well, I should know cause I was adopted when I was 5months old. Abortion is not the way to go! Anyway, once again John I loved your poem and I'm glad to hear that things are going better for your friend @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
thanks for the support stargal : ) |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
to bekahlekah alot of the kids who get put up for adoption actually dont get adopted. years go by, they lose the cuteness factor of being young, than when they are older still noone adopts them, and kids go to the street. question what if the mother is in a gang , and if the child was born there wouldnt b a way for her to get the child to a place to b adopted. what if she didnt want her child to get into gang life, and wanted to hav an abortion so they didnt have to deal with that, also if abortion is so wrong than how come we are killing innocent people in the war? do u approve of before three months abortions? |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
idc what you say, abortion is murder. period. im not being moved to have even a little compassion for retarded people who think abortion is right. i'm sorry. but abortion is wrong. i deff font approve of before 3 month abortion. i hate it all. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Rhia – you are so against us killing “innocent people” during wars but what about the children that are being killed from abortion? Are they not innocent also, maybe even more so than the ones that are dying in wars? As for the children that are not getting adopted would you prefer they weren’t alive to even try for a family? Because in my mind those who prefer these children didn’t live are murders the same as if you shot them in cold blood. I appreciate anyone who doesn’t want their child to be willing to put them up for adoption, at least that gives the child a chance… The mother in the gang? No chance to get them to a place to be adopted? What are you talking about?!?! Police stations, parks, hospitals, schools, you DON’T have to take the child to an adoption agency, just place them in a public place and someone will get them to a police station and they will figure something out… I know that the adoptions going through China are just a drop in a bucket, but my little sister was found outside of a hospital and placed in an orphanage. We than adopted her from that place, now I’m not saying all children will be lucky enough to get a family but at least my little sister was given a chance and her life! Umm… yeah, well now you know where I stand on this subject, thanks for letting me rant on your post John, I’m sorry we kinda left the subject of the poem… @-->--- |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
girls girls lets play nicely! I think that abortion is like marijuana. Bad and frowned upon by most of society. But if you have cancer there is absolutely nothing wrong with using it for medicinal purposes. This is what happened to me. something went wrong with my birth and it looked like both me and my mom were going to die. They performed a C-Section and by a sheer act of god, we both lived. But sometimes a situation like that cant be fixed with a surgery. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and the truth is, if theres a mother on the operating table and they have to choose between the child and the mother, theyre probably going to choose the mother, just because she has more chance of living AND she can always have another baby. Now about that story with the lady in the gang. SHE SHOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN PREGNANT!!! it was stupid OF HER to even get involved. But that is still not a good excuse. My cousin got pregnant by one of those punk a$$ gangstas on the street and you know what she did? she moved away, started going to church, got married and moved to idaho where she has turned from a street slut to a cowgirl and she has an awesome life. But if she'd had an abortion, i dont even want to think about what her life would be like right now. So i think all of you are right in your own way. Abortion IS killing an innocent baby, no doubt about that. But sometimes the cost is either one innocent life or two. Abortion is a terrible thing But sometimes its the lesser of two evils. Love Always John p.s. stop fighting on my poetry page!!! jk True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol sorry John. and yes, you raise an amazing point. But in that situation where its mom or child, yoiu have to remember that she had gone through with the birth and if given the choice that mother would have raised it and mothered it, but since the decision had to be made its not so much abortion as it is a sacrifice like you said. i'm not sure if you get what i mean anyways case closed, i dont agree with it, rhia person- apparently you do agree with it but i see you arent gunna be moved to persuation and neither am I. so lets just not fight. |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Hey thanks. I see that you have accepted the many words of yoda. Wars do not make one great. No matter how much you yell and scream (or type) there are some people that have their opinions and arent going to fold. like i said i think both of you guys are right, and the thing that people need to remember is that There is someone that is always going to know, if you got that abortion for the right, or the wrong reason. And that is not going to be a pleasant day. Thanks for commenting! YOU ROCK!!! Love Always John True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
OMG!! are you talking about abortion like, after a baby has been born? if so i am one hundred percent against that! if the mother has made it through the birth process then she should have to live with the decisions she made! if thats not what you were talking about then im glad were talking on the internet, cuz if this were real life...id feel really stupid. jk John True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol john! umm im not sure what you mean by after the baby is born...abortion is when a baby is conceived and its still in the mother's womb, and then the mother gets doctors to kill it. thats abortion. After the baby is born and they kill it, well its murder. abortion is the pretty decorated word for murder of infants. so yeah...basically its all murder. haha ANYWAY! okay John you had a very good poem in this and im sorry it caused such a riot here |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
ok thats fine, sorry i just wanted to know your thinking behind it. i agree lets drop the subject, and i cant get it to post on your poem, but bekalekah, your friend poem , it was really good, i can relate to, it was sad but good. sorry John O. , my comp is being weird and wont let me post on her poem,so i wanted to comment to it. and stargal, i just have a diferent look of it than you do, and sometimes just to tell everyone, getting into a gang, you cant always prevent it. stargal i just think that it should be the womans choice. so ya thats my oppinion. |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Thanks guys! i appreciate all of your differing opinions...even though it had nothing to do with my poem. Jk Love all you guys John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well Rhia it's nice to know your differing opinion, for all I know your ideas might be correct and mine might be wrong. It was nice talking to you about em John - I'm sooooo sorry that we got off subject of your poem! I know that we shouldn't have... I loved your poem though, just so you know, it was awesome in my book! Thanks for putting up with us though, your to nice @-->--- |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Stargal youre awesome. that is all there is to say about you!!! John True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
thanks for writing this poem, being a 17 year old girl, who has been pregnant, i can relate some what, no my parents didnt beat me, but i had to make some choices that were hard...once again great poem! Viola |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yeah i have to agree with everyone i LOVED it it was sooo heart breaking though i hope she is ok...... and it's nice to have friends behind her like you.... i guess well good write and hope to read more from you. thanx for sharing your poem. hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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