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Teen Poetry #7

How im feeling right now

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-06-13 07:47 PM

Party on a Friday
The weekends set for sure
Got work on Monday
Theres just more that I have to endure

Work all day untill nightfall
Then go home to rest your eyes
When your on a roof for hours
You just want to give up and die

The week has the same routine
Day after slaving day
I wake up to break my back
All for a little pay

But the weekends my salvation
Because the parties never end
I might feel like I want to die
But its nothing a little sleep cant mend

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-06-14 04:40 PM

Hey Tempest,

Neat poem by you, a little different than anything I’ve ever seen, and not necessarily my favorite, but rather interesting

Yet I like it because I can relate well to it, I’m always counting down for that weekend to appear so I can forget about work and just sleep and see my friends, I think you expressed those emotions just right in this…

You have a couple spelling/grammar errors that you might want to correct, but other than that everything in this poem is great!

I can’t wait to see more from you

@-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-06-14 10:05 PM

I don't have much to say. i agree with stargal.. I think she covered it for me quite well.. good job.

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

3 posted 2006-06-22 05:48 PM

Man that was good. i can't relate b/c I have no job and I'm a lazy 16 year old that can't get off her butt to get her own job. But i thought it sounded good. keep it up.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

4 posted 2006-06-23 01:41 AM

I liked it, it fit together nicely. you made it work. i can't relate either, but i am too young to work so thats probaly why.

Fuschia
Junior Member

since 2006-06-19

Posts 35
England

5 posted 2006-06-23 12:55 PM

This poem was interesting. I like it a lot. Although, i don't go to work, i can still relate to it. It's very true!

xxFuschiaxx

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