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Teen Poetry #7
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Everlasting Adulthood
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Everlasting Adulthood |
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Cherishable_Baybee Member
since 2006-01-04
Posts 57 |
Everlasting Adulthood By: Cherishable_Baybee Lost with myself because I don’t know who I am anymore The space between my soul and me has grown apart It also feels like I have a duo personality Like yin and yang Frightened at myself Of what I become And what I plan to do Unable to undo what i've done I’ve gone down a path that no one can get me out of A path where only lays darkness and mystery A sense of belonging has forsaken me For I not myself be no longer the person I once was Which was that little innocent child That was new to the world Now I look within myself The depths of my soul is limitless I saw what only everyone else saw A monster of some sort A child consumed with hatred and rage A hunger for revenge misused as justice Against all those whom did me wrong? Shall I pretend to have a lingering for life? Or shall I hide behind the devilish simile? I’m just torn into between the two Years and years you been praying for me Sitting there quietly Watching me over the years transform myself Into this tyrant this evil fiend Now you look at me like your looking at the devil himself The pain expressed in your face told it all You saw me as your little baby girl A sweet innocence But once you looked within my soul You saw a fierce killer My mother didn’t realize until now That her little sweet girl had died and grown up And as a dark mysterious woman she revived |
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| © Copyright 2006 Cherishable_Baybee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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girlskater117 Junior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 32 |
Nice poem. I hope to hear more. Amber |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
WOW!!! This is amazing! I think that commas could be used a little bit more, maybe to punctuate the pauses that are implied, but I was really blown away! Awesome job! Dance like nobody's watching, |
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Cherishable_Baybee Member
since 2006-01-04
Posts 57 |
Thanks guys i havent been writting lately soo its kinda been hard but yeah thanks again =D |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I like this poem a lot! Especially the part about yin and yang… I felt like a couple times you could have rephrased a sentence to say the same thing, but make it easier for the reader to understand, because sometimes it’s hard to decipher what you are saying, but that could just be me… My favorite part in the whole poem is sooo hard to pick! But I’d have to say that it was this, “I saw what only everyone else saw A monster of some sort A child consumed with hatred and rage A hunger for revenge misused as justice Against all those whom did me wrong?” I really liked that part, I don’t understand the question mark at the ending but I did like the imagery this brought into my mind when I read it… Great poem, and once again I can’t wait to see more by you!  @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Great write. I liked this very much. You showed a lot of emotion. I really enjoyed this.. especially the last couple of lines. ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Cherishable_Baybee Member
since 2006-01-04
Posts 57 |
thanks iidunno bout life and adulthood thanks why im thankful that i can express my clouded mind through poetry =D |
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