navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Blood to bleed
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Blood to bleed Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442


0 posted 2006-06-07 05:21 PM



"I don't love you anymore," is all I remember you telling me. Never have I felt so cold, but I have no more blood to bleed cause my heart has been draining into the sea.

Steps I take in your footsteps aren't getting me closer to you.To what is left of dreams of what I once claimed to know.

Within my bones this resonate, boiling blood will circulate. Could you tell me again, what you did this for?

© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-06-07 07:41 PM


I like it, except for one thing in it...
First you say you can bleed no more cause your heart poured your blood out into the sea but than you say that within your bones your blood will circulate, am i missing something or did those two statements contradict themselves? I'm so confused... Could you explain this to me?

Other than that i liked the poem. It was different but very good.
Thanks for sharing once again

@-->---

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Blood to bleed

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary