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Teen Poetry #7
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Pain of Betrayal
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Pain of Betrayal |
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tml_nut New Member
since 2003-11-23
Posts 4 |
Hey, this is my first post since i found this site a few days ago. Just a bit of back round about the meaning of this poem, i went out with this one girl laura when i was fourteen for 6 months and have been really hurt by her before It happened one night While he was at the dance He was having a fun time Neive about what was to come The dance was nearing the end And soon a slow song started Breifly he was reminded about the past But he quickly put it aside Making laughs with his friends He quickly glanced at the source of his past agony Yet to find out that he would revieve another blow Within seconds it hit him A freight train plunging into his gut Ripping out every organ Leaving a hollow empty feeling He was in this place before He was no stanger to pain But this was pain of a different kind His friend had broken the rule In fact he (edited by moderator) smashed the rule The two of them not aware of the grewling torture he was in He stomach was caving in Nearling hurling all its contents of the floor And then with warning The secondary wave his A nuclear bomb went off His blood pumping with rage (edited by moderator) And smash it against the wall The rage qucikly settled down Only to start sinking into depression He didn't know what to do He could do nothing but wait out the dance His friend came to talk to him Easing his mood But he knew what was wrong He was still in love with her [This message has been edited by vlraynes (11-24-2003 02:53 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 tml_nut - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Welcome to Pip! It sure sounds like this girl broke your heart, and your friend didn't help at all.... sorry she hurt you...please try to remember, that profanity is not allowed.  Oh! and please check your email for a special greeting. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is great.... yeh...you really gotta watch the profanity factor.... try usin other words to get out your feelings..... other than that i know the feelings your goin thru.... only time can heal those wounds man.... keep up the writing tho..... ~*Mel*~ this is me.... like it or not.... |
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magic_612 Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190NB, Canada |
Within seconds it hit him A freight train plunging into his gut Ripping out every organ Leaving a hollow empty feeling this stanza was really good. Welcome to the site!! |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
sniffle sniffle...that beautiful man... |
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UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
I really like this poem, it was written well...i'm sorry that happened to you though...but keep smiling everyone has soneome! AND WELCOME!!!! *~*Nessa Bear*~* You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
i liked it alot, great description. made past memories of mine feel brand new. thanks alot..haha j/k. great work though, i'd like to see more -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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broken627 Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 66Eugene Oregon |
this poem was really great you can tell it was written from the heart.Id love to see more of your poetry!Remember if she hurt you that much she isnt worth it! *-*Broken627-*- |
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tml_nut New Member
since 2003-11-23
Posts 4 |
Hey, actually that wasn't my best one, i have one more that i wrote last year when she first dumped me. I'll type it up now. Btw thanks for ur support |
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