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buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-05-08 05:00 PM

A story of a girl
That always knew just when to give me a smile.
She would call me in tears and with fears,
Or with laughs and full of cheers.

A story of a friend
That knew our friendship would never end.
She would make things that some how made life lighter
And give them to me to make my day just a little brighter.

A story of a life saver
That could heal you with a hug and laughter.
She would keep the memories of all our times,
Safe with all the tears and all the smiles.

A story of a life changer
That i could count on to save me from my every fear,
She would show me where i was wrong
It was all actually good, like my favorite song.

This story has and always will be
The most amazing and most brilliant story,
The most dramatic and most moving story,
My tears of joy and my life saving story,
And is treasured by me for ever in glory

Sweetpali08
Junior Member

since 2006-05-07

Posts 40

1 posted 2006-05-08 05:59 PM

This is pretty good.. I liked the way you expressed yourself freely. Not many in this world can be honest about such friendship or if so relationship... I don't usually look for spelling or how the sentence is used , All am looking for is the backround meaning the story behind the poem..
This one had soo much meaning in it and i think you should give it to her.

Thanks for sharing..

"How are they the VICTIMS if they are the OCCUPIERS?!"
~Paradise now

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-05-09 12:27 PM

Hey buttercupbaby,

I really enjoyed this poem, and like Sweetpali08 said how you could express yourself so freely, I totally agree with that, not many people can do it, you are just one of those talented ones who can!

The only thing I might change would be the last stanza, I might change it to read something like this,

“This story has and always will be
the most amazing and brilliant
the most dramatic and moving
my tears of joy and my life saving story,
is treasured by me forever in glory”

that’s just an idea, I dunno, I thought that the last stanza was a little stiff though… but that’s just me…

Great job on this, I really liked it

@-->---

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

3 posted 2006-05-09 05:28 PM

awesome-great loved it!!!!
rly theres nothing i would change its perfect
keep it up

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

Sweetie01
Junior Member

since 2006-05-15

Posts 28
NJ, USA

4 posted 2006-05-20 03:31 PM

It was good...I liked it a lot
keep up the good work
Amanda<3

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