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Teen Poetry #7
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sins_and_tragedies
Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41
england

0 posted 2006-05-02 03:19 PM


just to inform you all that it isnt realted to me or anyone i know i just thought of it in lifeskills it then carried on in my science exam....hopw you all like

She goes to school sees pregnant teens She says to her self God I’m lucky that’s not me She didn’t have to worry since she didn’t have a boyfriend But little did she know that would come to an end It started with holding hands Then led to a kiss He was everything she wished But one Friday night her parents weren’t home They went upstairs and his hands started to roam Her pants were now undone They thought it was just fun Then they were done They went to the bathroom to clean up She noticed something was wrong when he looked up He said “The condom broke" Then it all just went up in smoke Two months have past She began to put on weight fast They stopped at Wal-Mart to get a test She went to the bathroom to do the rest The test was positive She new the problem would be massive She told her boyfriend about the test And everything seemed like it was a mess Neither want to tell there parents If they told them they would become absent She is now lying on the hospital table And her body begins to tremble Her boyfriend grabs her hand And she then understands They have a new life on their hands Which she didn’t know if she could withstand The doctor then hands her their child And they both started to smile The next day they left the hospital And they didn’t know if making it is possible They both continued to go to school And listen to people call them fools Things finally cold down And there little baby girl is walking around They are all making it by Even though they sometimes cry.

danielle
xx

is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality

© Copyright 2006 Danielle - All Rights Reserved
pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
1 posted 2006-05-02 03:33 PM


that is so powerful
but i loved it
its so true too; things like this happen in high school all the time
AWESOME write
keep up the great work!  <3

~nora

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3  llx - Panic!At The Disco! **Time To Dance**

sins_and_tragedies
Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41
england
2 posted 2006-05-02 03:48 PM


i'm glad you liked it lol
love
danielle
x

is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
3 posted 2006-05-02 06:38 PM


I loved it.. it kinda went from where they didn't want to tell their parents to actually having the baby really fast which kinda confused me but it was great.. maybe adding the words "nine months later" to keep the reader informed of the time..

I am that girl in a way.. except I have a bf but I'm the girl that keeps her friends out of trouble and worries about them so much.. I guess I'm kinda the good one.. but things happen and this poem shows that any thing can happen at anytime.. and to never put yourself in that kind of situation..

Great write.. I loved it.. I actually almost.. let me say again.. ALMOST.. started to cry.. I love poems that really mean something to me..

keep up the great work..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-05-02 06:43 PM


*sob* *wipes tear* Can i read it again?!?!

lol... Great write, like awesome write, amazing write! Yeah, like heather said, it went a little fast in that part, you kind of missed a blip of her life, well, nine months to be correct, but it was coo...

I would almost make it longer, cause, umm, i dunno, i know it's already kinda long, but you could add so many things into this, like how her friends laughed, how everything... I dunno, I do know though, that i enjoyed this one a lot!

Can't wait to see more from you

@-->---

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
5 posted 2006-05-02 07:11 PM


its a hard read... i feel as if it needs to be broken up in lines and stanzas... and i didnt want to read it at first just because of the topic but i really liked it it was a pleasant suprise
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
6 posted 2006-05-02 11:47 PM


hello.
this poem is good. you should have seperatd it and made it easier to read, but either way it was good.

5 of my freidns at the moment...possibly six are all pregnant. only one is out of highschool. this is a scary thing. and you prtrayed it well. esp considering youve never gone through it. you can relate to people and thats good.

<3

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
7 posted 2006-05-03 02:19 PM


hi
I really liked this poem.
It's really truthfull in today's world..
I loved it.It made me really think, and it made me realize things...thanks alot
~missy

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