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Teen Poetry #7
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Don't Tell My Mother
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Don't Tell My Mother |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA 
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This poem is unusually shorter than most of my poems and not true on my behalf.. I was sitting in church reading thru some tracts when it just came to me.. Hope you like.. (hope it makes sense  )I'd erase every memory, if I only knew I could... the day he said he loved me, and that he always would. The mixed emotions that we shared, the love I thought we felt... all the pain he caused me, all the times I thought he helped. Left and all alone, with all this guilt and shame... five months down the road, and still no thought on name. I think back on words of wisdom, my mother shared with me.. and though her eyes are open, I'm glad she cannot see. Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. Want nothing & you will have everything. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Heather Sullivan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey, I actually think this is my favorite poem by you so far, that is if i've gotten the meaning correctly... To me this poem covers a lot of ground, there's no real set, umm, what's that word... No set "main" subject? Or at least I do not think that there is, cause it talks about lots of things in this, without really going off onto something that doesn't make sense, which is cool... Did I just confuse you? Sorry, basicly what i'm trying to say is that i enjoyed this a lot! My favorite, favorite, part in this would have to be, "I think back on words of wisdom, my mother shared with me.. and though her eyes are open, I'm glad she cannot see." I think that because i can relate to this part so well, is why i like this part best... Great poem, this is so going in my library! @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Hey stargal.. thanks for your comment.. you're right.. this poem does cover alot of ground not just one subject.. My idea in this poem went something like this... "the girl in the poem is talking about how much she wished could take back something because she sees that the guy was just a fake.. it was all pain and lies.. the third stanza says that she's left and all alone.. "he left her" then it says five months down the road.. still no thought on name.. "basically what this is saying is that she got pregnant because it says that it's five months later and she still hasn't thought of a name, referring to a baby name if you caught that" then the last stanza is talking about going back in thoughts and remembering things her mother told her.. and it's supposed let you know that her mother told her about this and guys and babies.. and how to stay out of trouble.. but she's glad her mother cannot see .. "that she is pregnant" in the poem I said that her mother's eyes were open but she couldn't see.. I didn't really have a precise meaning for this.. I thought that these lines plus the title.. "don't tell my mother" could basically leave it up to the reader.. hope this helps.. even if this is or wasn't what you thought.. thanks for the comment.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I'm so good! lol... That's what i thought you were talking about, on almost all of it  Thanks for telling me what you thought about this though, i always like to make sure i'm not missing out on what the writer thinks, even though it's not only about what the writer thinks, but what the reader takes from it... Now i'm just babbling, cause duh, you know that!  @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
lol.. no worries.. you're welcome.. I like hearing what you think ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
This is a beautiful piece. i love the structure and the fact that it cuts right to the point. Excellent write. btw- i'd like you to check out a piece i posted in Dark Poetry titled " Can You Stand Alone" i could definately use some opinions on that particular piece if you have time and i think if you liked A Moment Vulnerable that you'd enjoy Can You Stand Alone. Awesome write, Mike Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free |
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Junebug Junior Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 40earth |
wow i totally love this poem....and even tho i cant relate to it personally....alot of people could...thats awesome! wickid poem! |
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sins_and_tragedies Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41england |
oh my god that poem was so creative i have never read a fantastic poem like it....well done and keep it up!!!!! is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
this is great!!! luvv all of ur poems keep up the awesome work<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
thanks everyone.. your comments mean so much to me.. I'm trying to excel in my writing and I believe that since I've joined this site.. it has helped me alot.. I hope to have more for you soon.. `Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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