Teen Poetry #7 |
Forever Dreaming |
SwimminPoet05 New Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 6Massachusetts, US |
Okay this is the first poem i ever written i wrote it likea year or so ago... Forever Dreaming When I first saw you i knew it was right Ill always remember what you said that night The way you talked to me the way you stared My hand in yours and closer you dared Forever Dreaming 'cause you just dont understand The way it feels with a heart in your hand Im now on my knees wishing for another day Praying that I'd find the time to know just what to say I'm now forever dreaming 'cause you just wont understand The way that im feeling when my heart is in your hand |
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© Copyright 2003 Richelle - All Rights Reserved | |||
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
well, at first i really disliked it. it was incredibly straight forward and cliche. i liked it the more it went. i liked the coninous theme of "heart in a hand", but once again it was really cliche. most of my stuff is though, so good job...haha -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
It's very sweet! This is your first poem? You're off to a good start! ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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magic_612 Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190NB, Canada |
I agree.. this is VERY well done for a first poem. My first one was horrible.. I laugh when I read it.. hehe |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
i enjoyed reading this it's sweet and simple. keep writing when you live you begin to die |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
word...they just dont understand.... |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
This is a very good first poem, I also remember my first poem being absolutely horrible when I look at it now. Nice work ~*~Karen~*~ |
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