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Teen Poetry #7
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Just You and ME.
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Just You and ME. |
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drowningmonky Junior Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 14miami, florida |
Once In a dream I wished for a prince yet what i recieved was far beyond my dreams I quickly took off ,my wings just escaped and all i could wish for was to see you again. Now Dont get me wrong cause our love is strong and i could never ask for more or better cause you are everything and so much more Lets try and hold on to it forever. But still to this day My Mind drifts away and wonders Do you feel the same? Do u find yourself saying my name? It haunts me sometimes and I worry and frown but then when you say it, those words that can kill it all fades away and dreams of us forever start to kick in. That is when Im sure that your not a liar. With every hug, kiss and touch you give You become all I desire. I fall away and wonder of in my dream forever just you and me. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Lisa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey, I don't have time to offer a good post, but i will return and comment more later, just keep in mind that someone IS going to post on this  @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
"With every hug, kiss and touch you give You become all I desire." These were my favorite lines.. I loved you poem.. I think that it could use a little organization but other than that.. this is wonderful.. I like how you used a dream.. and kinda put reality in there with it.. it was great..  ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Okay, mostly what Heather said, I also liked how you told this in dream sequence and how you didn't really switch from the dream, but had reality IN the dream, that was really amazing on how you did that. I really liked this part in the poem, this part stuck out to me most for some reason, "That is when Im sure that your not a liar. With every hug, kiss and touch you give You become all I desire. " it's very beautiful, to me it speaks of trust, and i can relate to this in many ways... Good job on your poem, I hope to see more, in the near future, from you! @-->--- |
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