age dont matter - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

ThePrayers0faBrokenHeart
Junior Member

since 2006-03-19

Posts 10
guam, harmon

0 posted 2006-04-08 09:26 PM

age dont matter, you hear them say
i look at you without
judgment and curioustiy and as i lay
i smile with sincere
with no worries or fears
but as i wonder off
the judgement of others carried me on
i become morre afraid as i learn
my feelings for you are
going beyond as i turn
i weep as i realize how weak i was
how words from others can break me apart
how it trapped me like a cage
now here i am confused as a little child
whos trying to learn about life
and its curiousity, growing
more and more intentially
you realize how love differs from all
and that one day you'll fall
and say "age dont matter as long as your in love..."

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-04-08 09:31 PM

Its good. It could use more organization and maybe some stanzas. The grammer or what ever is fine. Its really good. Nice write.

Jessica

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england

2 posted 2006-04-12 10:45 AM

i like it!
for me personally as long as your writing from the heart a poem is perfect. maby because i don't know how to set my poems out either.
lol
but hey it was good welcome to pip,
curiouse

i'm looking for you...always...

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

3 posted 2006-04-12 05:16 PM

i love it. it flowed really nicely
as well. and it's true--age doesn't
matter if you love the person.

keep writing.
--kelly

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

4 posted 2006-04-12 09:37 PM

I agree with Jessica it could've been a little more organized to make it easier to read.. but I also agree with the others if it comes from the heart it is poetry.. I liked your concept.. Hope to hear more..

WELCOME TO PIP!!!

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

5 posted 2006-04-16 11:05 PM

YAY!!!!! Somebody agrees with me!!!!!!

ShelbyLynn13
Member

since 2006-02-15

Posts 73
US, Colorodo

6 posted 2006-04-21 03:22 PM

i say the same as jessie

every one is special in their own way!!!

Junebug
Junior Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 40
earth

7 posted 2006-04-25 05:15 PM

I think its awesome! i like the words and as the others said, if comes from the heart its poetry! it rocks! hope to see more poems from you!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

8 posted 2006-04-25 10:22 PM

Hey,

Welcome to pip!
Awesome poem btw… I kind of agree with Jessica on the organization and stanza thing, I know I’ve said this a thousand times but…

It helps the reader keep their place if there are stanzas, so they don’t constantly have to read the thing over and over when all they really want to do is enjoy the poem as a whole! But that’s just me, so I might be the only one out there that feels this way…

Also there are one or two spelling errors, kind of minor details, plus the grammar on the title is kind of iffy, if you know what I mean.

I also agree with curiouse, pretty much anything you write from the heart is an A+ with me

Hope to see more of your work, and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner.

@-->---

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.