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Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-03-26 07:49 PM

I am in the waters swimming, swimming to and fro
the fish that are here with me I am telling them to go
I think that I am tough enough to make this journey alone
so if i die without you its not your fault its mine!

I want to have you here but I have a fear that is kept deep inside my soul that once I have hold of you, you soon will let go
I swim in the cold I swim in the darkest side that is unknown
I swim and wait for one single wish that is never going to be served on my dish
I waste my time, i know all this
so please believe me and except my kiss

I am alone most of the time
just swimming with thoughts running through my mind
watching the other fish while i swim slowly behind
watching them smiling and talking about there wonderful lives
I think to myself that maybe these fish wont let go that maybe they will say they know and I will have someone to hold

but then that thought soon will go and I find out that I have lost my chance
I find that the darkness is surrounding me
that I am alone in my own little dream and maybe you all will forgive me
this is me and im so very sorry!!!

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-04-01 01:03 PM

Hey,

You get extra points for being unique in this poem!
I’ve heard this subject compared to many things, but never have I seen anyone compare it to swimming, good job! This really caught my eye because of the title, I love to swim, but I found this poem to be so much more than I expect.

Let me apologize for no one having posted sooner.
You have a few words used wrong, spelled correctly, but there are more ways than one to spell a word.
You might want to read this allowed to yourself once more, I believe that it flows stiff in one or two parts, but that is just me.

Good job! I love this poem, it is for the library.

@-->---

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

2 posted 2006-04-01 09:23 PM

"I want to have you here but I have a fear that is kept deep inside my soul that once I have hold of you, you soon will let go"

^one of my favorite lines from your poem. awesome write, keep it up!

-kelly

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

3 posted 2006-04-01 10:27 PM

Howdy thank you both