»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
Lonesome
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
Lonesome |
|
|
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
You said you'd love me now and forever. For worst or for better. But just like any guy, you would eventually lie. Don't try and explain things to me because I can see quite clearly that you have moved on, but I must stay strong. Even though my heart may ache and keep me awake. I'll go sit outside, and look up at the stars just wondering how you are. Never to be answering back. For love is what I lack. I sit there till my saddness overwhelms me and puts me into a deep sleep. Only now my dreams can bring me back to you. Back to your welcoming arms, looking up into your eyes- so warming, that's where I long to be . So why can't you see, that we were meant to be? Please don't, don't leave me. I awaken from the chillen breeze, that runs through the whispering tears. So here I am, lonely once again. cherrys_rule here's one of my better ones hope u guys like it. *you might have scars all over your body, but what about the ones engrave in your memories* [This message has been edited by cherrys_rule (03-20-2006 07:33 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hey again first of all you have a few spelling mistakes in this and second like i get this line "I'll go sit outside, and look up at the stars just wondering how you are." but this made me stop and read it over a few times "Never to be answering back. " it doesnt really make sence ... or maybe im being really stupid  thats just what i think. Over all *thumbs up*x0x0 |
||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Excellent write. I'd suggest going back and polishing up on it though by fixing some of your spelling errors, but still a good poem. Nice job. ~Alli~ |
||
|
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
thanx you guys, i was nervous and when i'm nervous i spell wrong. i noticed that too. I might take you up on that whole publishing thing. And really poems don't have to make total since it's what that person feels inside. Not to be mean or anything. *You might have scars all over your body, but what about the ones engraved in your memories [This message has been edited by cherrys_rule (03-20-2006 07:34 AM).] |
||
|
the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I noticed the spelling errors too.. I also make mistakes when I'm typing fast. lol.. I think that this was great could use a little polishing. at first I didn't get the line "never to be answering back" but after I thought about it I knew what you meant. Keep it up..  ~Heather |
||
|
byski Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235Alberta, Canada |
Write your poem up in word first then post it second to fix any spelling or grammer problems. But remember, the love you feel does not come from anyone but yourself. You just see it differently now, thats what people do they change your perspective. Keep that in mind in the future, without that person there is no lack of love only a lack of emotion. Know what I mean? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
