Teen Poetry #7 |
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The Bridge |
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Sexy Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53 |
Here i am at the bridge to scared to jump but yet im to afraid to stay for every little mistake i've made i want to die. No one understands what im going through.. no one really notices that im all fake... from the smile to the laugh.... nothings real, nothings me. I loved you but now your gone to, god im ready to die... I cant go on without you. My true love doesnt love me. No one will relize im gone when i leave.. Now as i look down to jump i hear someone behind me... How can that be the person grabs me.... and just as i relize it it him, hes the only one that can save me now..... |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked your poem.. there was some spelling mistakes and you changed your point of view.. the third stanza says "i love you" and the last stanza says, "it was him" so you changed your view.. see? but overall it was good.. Keep it up.. good depth.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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