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Teen Poetry #7

He Was Different

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-13 06:42 PM

There's nothing more satisfying,
than knowing you meant nothing at all to him,
and you'll fix his broken wings,
and he will fly away from you.

You'll read the broken chain letters,
and watch life pass you by,
you're broken hearts still breaking,
but love is not waiting,
for you.

5'6 with big brown eyes,
don't tell me you don't see it,
he is not perfect
he is big headed but he's got a bigger heart,
so tell me why you tore it apart.

He means no harm,
he brings no pain,
love is not so carefree,
so pick and choose it easy.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-03-14 04:47 PM

Hey,

I’m not sure I understand your poem! One moment I feel like your talking about someone you love, and a girl who tore him apart, but the next it’s completely different…
Would you give me some insight on what is going on?

Your poem jumps around quite a bit, so it is confusing to read!

I’m not trying to bash your poem in any way, but before I can offer a good opinion I would like to know what your trying to come across to the reader.

@-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-03-14 05:09 PM

I agree I didnt' really understand it either.. The first part said you meant nothing to him and then the last part says that you tore him apart.. so it's was just a little different.. I would also like to know what it is about in your sense.. Thanks...

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2006-03-14 06:18 PM

I think that this poem was very interesting. Keep writing and posting!

~Alli~

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