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Teen Poetry #7

Disappearing Act

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-12 12:39 PM

Here comes that awkward feeling,
of knowing you're alone and no one is saving you,
what am I to do?

Here comes that silence that is so loud,
I enjoy it a little too much,
it beats your touch.

Here comes that pain and tears,
hold me close so you can feel,
and you won't.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-03-12 02:12 PM

I liked this very much.. it said a lot in so few words the last stanza kind of confused me but I liked your write.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2006-03-12 02:16 PM

i would have to agree. what do you mean in the last stanza? the rest is beautiful.

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-03-12 04:44 PM

Hey,

I liked each stanza on it's own, but when i put it all together i couldn't understand the poem?

Would you care to enlighten this poor fool?

@-->---

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

4 posted 2006-03-12 04:46 PM

Really, the poem has nothing to do with anything, at all. I just wrote it with a song by TBS and it seemed to fit.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2006-03-17 07:11 PM

Short and sweet write, very nicely done.

~Alli~

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