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Teen Poetry #7

A Flagger In The Band

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

0 posted 2006-03-12 09:14 AM

Sweaty palms
jumpy stomach
nervous feeling
rushing fast

Here we go
about to start
lets get ready
twirl, spin, move

Keep your pace
now slow it down
keep on counting
don't let them down

This is scary
don't stop yet
almost through
get to the end

Up in front
don't move an inch
watch the line
smile, march, wave.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-03-12 10:58 AM

Heelo.

you poem could have flowed better. thats all i can think of to make it better.

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2006-03-17 07:15 PM

Enjoyable read.

~Alli~

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-03-18 02:06 PM

This is a really interesting poem!
I'm not quite sure what to say aout it... Although, i do agree with Jessica, in some spots it doesn't flow as smoothly as it could. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, and seeing what you think

Good job though! keep posting

@-->---

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

4 posted 2006-04-07 05:15 PM

Seems like most of my poems have flowing problems in one area or another.. thanks for the posts

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