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mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

0 posted 2006-03-11 04:31 PM

Big gray skies that swallow you whole
while leafy green trees wave so long
bitter harsh winds make you tremble in the cold
long, lonely days come then they're gone

Large, lushous lips smothered with a kiss
while long black lashes flutter with emotion
strong muscular arms, carry out each wish
deep, needy eyes watching every motion

Big aching heart, masked with a smile
small soft hands, travel gently to explore
Numerous crazy hopes of lasting a while
Looking for happiness, always wanting more

Large haunting clouds shadow every move
painful fights and breakups take away the joy
strong hurtful words cause love to lose
the only thing that matters, is that one special boy

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-03-12 12:26 PM

i had to read it twice then i got the meaning.(at least i think it was the meaning

) it could flow better. its very goood though.

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

2 posted 2006-03-12 09:05 AM

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it and will work on improvements.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

3 posted 2006-03-12 02:07 PM

I loved this poem. i loved how you described everything.

great job.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2006-03-12 04:52 PM

I'd have to agree with Jessica...
I had to read it 3 times before i began to understand even a little... at least i think i understood it?

This particular poem didn't really stand out to me as much as your other poems.

But i did like how you described what things in this poem!

@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2006-03-17 07:08 PM

I enjoy reading your poems very much. Keep writing!

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

6 posted 2006-04-07 05:13 PM

Like you all seemed to point out.. lol not one of my best.. a little confusing? I can see that too... thanks for the awesome posts.. keep em coming

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