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Teen Poetry #7
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Have You Ever?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Have You Ever? |
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the_hoodANDsheild Junior Member
since 2006-03-08
Posts 25Canada |
Have you ever had to talk but didn’t know what to say? Afraid of what the reaction might be or if they will push away? Have you ever had a million questions float through your mind? Never knowing the answer and always leaving the clues undefined? Have you ever known someone that you want to know better? But instead of asking them upfront you write a stupid letter? Have you ever wanted to leave your old world behind? Just to spend a few extra seconds or extend your time? Have you ever been so scared to ask a simple question? Like you’re sitting in a class with a long confusing lesson? Have you ever had someone that’s always on your brain? That hurt you because you had a secret, which you always kept refrained? Have you ever had someone take control of your essence? That makes you feel better just by their presence? Have you ever met somebody that motivates you to do more? That pushes you to try new things and to explore? Have you ever met someone who was the nicest person you know? That always makes you happy and makes your heart glow? Have you ever met someone whose eyes you fall into? Never wanting to leave because they were something you could cling too? Have you ever known someone as stunning as stars in the night sky? Who you always see when you fall asleep or even close your eyes? So here I go about to take a gamble, And I am scared now because I think I started to ramble. Now I know that this is a corny thing to do, But I just wanted you to know, that I am falling in love with you. --------------------------------------------------- i wrote this for a girl but i dont think i am going to give it to her. what do you think? |
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| © Copyright 2006 the_hoodANDsheild - All Rights Reserved | |||
latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Its sweet. Its awsome that you said it was corny. but its still sweet. you should give it to hr its great. thanks for posting this so i could read it. Wonderful. Jessica |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey, It’s a great poem! Just a few things though… 1) The line, “they might push away”, I suggest you add a “you” to that. 2) Think about stanzas, they really help the reader keep track of where they are and they also help separate some of your ideas, so it looks like your not jumping around a lot. 3) It’s kind of deep, most people might say it’s not but it is to me. I like to ask myself those questions all the time, it gives you a moment to contemplate life, and things in general. So keep writing, I’d love to see more of your posts! As for giving it to the girl… Do what you think is right in your own heart. @-->--- |
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the_hoodANDsheild Junior Member
since 2006-03-08
Posts 25Canada |
Thanks so much for your inputs. I will use your suggestions, but I am still not sure if I will give it to her. I have another poem I wrote about her I will post in another thread. |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
give it to her..if it's the last thing you do because you certenly had me hooked. you're a wonderfull poet hope to read more of you, Curiouse |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
very nice. good job. i really enjoyed reading this! |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
You’re poem was great. I think of those questions all the time. And as for giving it to the girl, I think you should because if a guy gave that poem to me or any poem that deles with emotions I would be in a very happy mood for the rest of the week. Because girls (or just me) think it’s really sweet when a guy takes his time to write down his feelings for her. But it’s up to you if you should or not. I must say she’s very lucky to have found you. I just hope I can find a guy like you some day. |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
aliway is so right! |
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the_hoodANDsheild Junior Member
since 2006-03-08
Posts 25Canada |
Thankyou very much...im not usally a shy person but when i write i dont usaully let people read it. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I think you should give it to her. Follow your heart... Nice job with the writing though...I wish someone would write something like that for me.  ~Alli~ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I'm a dork! I did post on this but i forgot  Let me just say good job again! Please continue to post. @-->--- |
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the_hoodANDsheild Junior Member
since 2006-03-08
Posts 25Canada |
Well thanks for taking to time to find me again stargal! Means a lot and I will post more poems in the future. |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
I hope you do because I love to read more of your work |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Ditto! @-->--- |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
aliway is so right. jessica |
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