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Teen Poetry #7
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A Clear Conscious
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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A Clear Conscious |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA 
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Some people never give you the chance, to show them what you mean... they just keep on walking, with their eyes, you're never seen. Your self-concience you're erasing with troubled thoughts and guilt... and every memory passes by, as your head begins to downward tilt. Your smile is lost somewhere, in the midst of all your dreams... and your only hope for love, is out of reach, it seems. You enter this domain and feel you are completely lost... all you want to do now, is forget about the height and cost. It seems that nothing is ever enough, and time is passing by... looking for your future, as it goes right before your eyes. When times get too tough, all you want to do, is find someone to love, someone to love you. but this fairytale you wish you had, is lost somewhere in your dreams... and though you often try... you're told you won't succeed. You never really get enough, you're always wanting more... blamed on others' conscious, but it's really only yours. Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Heather Sullivan - All Rights Reserved | |||
latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
wow! i like when you constantly have "..." on the end of the sencond line!yay! the whole poem was and is great. bravo!  Jessica |
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helenadepp Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 59durham, england |
Another beauty! Constant flow yet again, this made me smile.  |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Thanks alot you guys.. I'm glad that you like my poetry. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Hey i thought that rocked! I dunno, i felt like it was a "Blaming problems on others just causes more problems" sorta thing. Thats something i need to work on, so thanks! Love always! JOHN True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
thanks john.. Your reply is very much appreciated..  ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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gozaggss Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 33 |
Amazing! you are an excellent poet and i loved this one. the only part that stood out was the "When times get too tough, all you want to do, is find someone to love, someone to love you." because the tempo seemed to have changed there considerably. keep up the great work Gurl |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Wonderfully written Heather. This piece hit home, because much like John I have similar problems. Oh and thanks for the positive review on my poem yesterday.  /\/The Editing Queen\/\ |
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Frank W. Torres Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 133 |
Extreamly nice. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Heather, Sorry it has taken me so long to post on this poem, I’m a little behind on yours… I really liked this, I think it might be one of my top ten favorites by you! Knowing me I usually tell you if there’s something I don’t like about a poem, well on this one I must tell you that there is NOTHING I do not like about it… For me the whole thing is perfect! Well, as perfect as perfect can be. My favorite stanza would have to be the first one though, I can understand/relate well to it… Having had it happen to myself all the time! I think you used the perfect words to describe it though. Once again great job on your poem! I can not wait to see some more from you in the near future  @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Thank you all so much. I posted this a while back I didn't think that it would be brought back into conversation again.. I appreciate your comments. I love this site lol. It's great.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
"You never really get enough, you're always wanting more... blamed on others' conscious, but it's really only yours." I LOVEEEE how you ended it :-) Thought it really brought the whole idea together. And even better, you put into words what I'd always thought but could never explain. Great job! |
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spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
heather~ i really liked this one of yours...i liked the ending the most..but i just want to thank you for all the nice things u say about my poetry and i wanna return the favor and let u kno too that urs is really good..i have read alot of urs and i kno i havent posted alot of comments but i just want u to kno that u r talented..so keep it up..i wanna read more from u!! ~Amber~ For every drop of my blood that falls |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
This is really good!!!!!! I like this!!! good flow and everything. its just so good. I really loved reading this and it kept my attention...it didnt go off and bore me, it was good the whole way through. i'm impressed |
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