Teen Poetry #7 |
for once |
Sexy Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53 |
For once be yourself you might get real friends maybe they will like you for who you are, and not for who i am. For once tell the truth people might care because they really dont for this fake personality you always seem to wear, for once be honest with yourself you might actually have fun for once be yourself and not me, hun...... |
||
© Copyright 2006 Sexy - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this poem but I didn't like the line breaking points that you chose. I would suggest that you would break the line at the end of a completed thought. I liked the point here. People trying to be like other people instead of who they really are. Nice write. With a little work I, as a junior member, think that this could be a great poem. Good job! ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
||
latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I agree. You need more breaking points. I would like the flow of it better if you put breaking points. all in all it was a pretty nice poem Jessica Character is what you do when you think that no one is loking--?? |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |