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Teen Poetry #7
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sometimesitslonely
Junior Member
since 2005-12-27
Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-02-20 11:10 AM


You lied to me,
you said you'd kill me,
but now I'm alive,
soaking in my misery.

Why didn't you tighten the rope?
Cut away my love and hope.
I don't need my sanity,
you've got the best of me.

I hate you for not taking my life,
I give up and my love subsides.
Damn you for leaving me,
life could never be forgiving.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

© Copyright 2006 sometimesitslonely - All Rights Reserved
XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
1 posted 2006-02-20 12:17 PM



That was a wonderful, , write!!! keep up the GREAT work!

p.s. that cool thing is awesome!!!


XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
2 posted 2006-02-20 01:13 PM


thats spectacular writing. it has a nice beat and flows well  

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

xolilmiztutuxo
New Member
since 2006-02-27
Posts 3
D-town *:* ma*:*
3 posted 2006-03-06 07:13 PM


tat really good !?! i like it alot totally relatable!?!  
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-03-07 07:00 PM


… I’m going to be honest, it’s depressing!

The other thing is, “you said you’d kill me but you lied”, you want to get a little more depth to the reader and explain why that person is going to kill someone?

It has good flow though…

Keep writing

@-->---

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