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Teen Poetry #7
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Im all alone
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Im all alone |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Im all alone no one beside me fearing that maybe no one will find me but It's not that peaceful knowing that there is always someone behind me to watch me just roll down the hill, and to know that they will always climb over me and the darkness is scary no one really weary that this may be it that this may be me trying to understand but never really get it of why my life is just based on running away I don't sleep I don't eat but no one really sees that my life sucks and I'v had enough why cant they just believe? that what I say is true just go away leave me alone all I want is a permanent home no running away, and no feeling that maybe i might not live till the next day!!! |
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| © Copyright 2006 Free_Spirit07 - All Rights Reserved | |||
latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
.............................................................................................wow................................................................................ Where your heart lays is where you belong. |
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XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
Great job!!! This was amazing-keep up the GREAT work! XoXo, |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
umm thank you both....but was that "wow" a g00d one or a bad one??? x0x0 |
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acid_tears_i_cry Junior Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 24United States, UT |
wow this has a lot of emotion put into it...I respect that...good job... I cant Look at the shade andymore..its become too bright |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
thank u x0x0 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
it was a good wow. no it was a great wow. your work is wonderful you should do more daily. if you want to ofcourse. dont want to add any presure. just want to give support  Jessica |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this poem very much. I had a little trouble reading it with a rythim but I think it's because I had to stop at a couple of places and read it twice because of a spelling mistake(add s to words that don't need it or left if off where they do) Other than that this was a good piece and I hope to read more with this kind of depth. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Sorry....umm what? could you tell me where? im really am dumb.........but would love to know if you could tell me Heather! Thank you  x0x0 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
where do you have more s's than you need? Jessica |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Well now that I go back and read it.. this part 'trying to understand but never really get it of why my life is just based on running away' When I read over it, it sounded like it needed an 's' (not had to many sorry)  maybe it's just the way I read it. It just sounded to me like the way I was reading it (the point of view) that it would need an s after get to make gets it. or maybe and 'ing' instead. "but never really getting it" Sorry for the confusion. I was trying to remember what I read while replying. Sorry again, but great write. Hope to hear more. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Umm sorry! I still not getting you...umm what word or words in that bit of my poem needs the "S". u dnt have to answer me but would really like to know x0x0 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
i think that it was only one where she said it was. that should be changed to ing instead of adding an "s". Right? Jessica |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Hey again.. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.. this part "trying to understand but never really get it" when i first read is sounded like it needed an s after 'get' but now that i go back i think it needs an 'ing' "geting"..like Jessica said. sorry.. again.. Nice Write ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
good write thanks for sharing looking forward to reading more |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hey oh man thanks a heapo  I thought i was going insane .....  ok well thank you EVERYONE for giving me some input.......THANK YOU ALL x0x0 |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Sorry, I’m a little lost on your poem! Yes, it expresses a lot of emotions, but it also jumps around a bit. One minute I’m thinking you mean something, than it all changes and I think you mean something else! … Other than that it was great, nice flow |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hmm ok then lemme see if i can tell you what its about...so maybe then you will understand it better. well its sorta hard  I dunno how to explain it...im sorry im no help at all!  I get you....and maybe i can fix it. THANK YOU x0x0 |
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