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Teen Poetry #7

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dickiegreenleaf
Junior Member

since 2006-01-16

Posts 10
Canada

0 posted 2006-01-16 02:07 AM

can you hear me
as I ponder
these words softly
find myself
hating you
this wont do.
This is it.
Now don’t forget
Thinking words
I wish you
Knew
Listen to yourself
Afraid to lose.
Its not it.
Please don’t forget
Supposing things
I crave you
Knew
Hear yourself
Scared to fail
Nothing more.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

1 posted 2006-02-11 11:38 AM

woah real good-great job!

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2006-03-09 02:41 PM

its good. maybe you could put places where you want the reader to break? maybe?

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-03-18 02:50 PM

Really interesting!
I have to agree with Jessica, stanzas would be really nice in this…

The first few lines,

“Can you hear me
as I ponder
these words softly “

I love this part; it really sticks out to me…

Keep writing, I’d love to see more!

@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2006-03-19 12:07 PM

Wow, amazing write! Excellent job I enjoyed reading it.

Keep posting!

~Alli~

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