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kin3tix
Junior Member

since 2006-07-05

Posts 17
Somewhere wondering...

0 posted 2006-07-05 02:31 PM

Note: The spoken "flow" is a bit unique, it is intended to be that way.

                           I Dream

                  swift through night
soaring but softly crossing the light
        of darkness, casting a shadow
     on the peril of my past, shallow
         dreams i know not but my foe
        of divinity has cast the die,
  it seems, this nether is but a lie
for my fate has already met its end

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-07-05 11:06 PM

Wow.. I am very impressed. Great first post.. this was a wonderful start to the site.. I love your choice of words and the last line was a great ending. I can somewhat see where you were coming from with this one.. GREAT JOB!!!

WELCOME TO PIP!! I hope you like it here as much as I have.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

kin3tix
Junior Member

since 2006-07-05

Posts 17
Somewhere wondering...

2 posted 2006-07-05 11:26 PM

Hey Heather

Thanks for the feedback.

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

3 posted 2006-07-06 02:43 AM

I agree with the above. Great first post(much better than mine was I'm sure lol) and very sophisticated.

O and of course Welcome to PIPTALK!
Hope to see more!

<3Erin

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

kin3tix
Junior Member

since 2006-07-05

Posts 17
Somewhere wondering...

4 posted 2006-07-06 12:21 PM

Thanks Erin, I love feedback

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

5 posted 2006-07-09 11:25 AM

Hey kin3tix,

Sorry that I'm so late in posting a reply to this! but I wanted to say welcome to pip and I hope you enjoy the site as much as I have

Btw, I have to agree with everything said before me, this is one awesome poem! You have such an amazing way with words. It's simply amazing... And yeah, this was better than my first post too! lolz...

Great write on this one, I can't wait to see more

@-->---

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

6 posted 2006-07-10 04:56 PM

wowee i loved it..... very gud 4 your first post too..... i liked it and am looking fwd to reading more of your poems 2.... welcome to PIP!!!!!
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

kin3tix
Junior Member

since 2006-07-05

Posts 17
Somewhere wondering...

7 posted 2006-07-19 09:09 PM

Thanks guys for the feedback. Now... to findsome inspiration for my next poem

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

8 posted 2006-07-21 11:09 AM

very nice poem i really liked it flowed very well! thanks for the read!

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
"and we'll all float on ok....." - modest mouse
aim - reklesabandnrckr
groove on sista!

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