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Teen Poetry #7
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broken heart
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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broken heart |
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smiley New Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 9 |
k this is the first poem i have written outside of a school assingment so please pleasse tell me honestly what you think. I never wanted to give my heart away in fear that someone would take it and break it. But when i saw you i fell in love and I gave my heart to you. I never thought you would hurt me you were so gentle in your touch, yet your words broke my heart. Now i wish i hadnt given my heart away. Not to you. Why did you have to do it? You broke my heart and now i want it back. |
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| © Copyright 2003 smiley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
ummmm.......it was sooo cliche, there was absolutely nothing here to set it apart from the average poem. write with ideas and images that will stick in people's minds, that is when you have written strong, good poetry.-alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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smiley New Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 9 |
thanks you i need ALL the help i can get and that was good information. |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
silly me silly me tell me how could i ever forget to be your lover.... |
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MiSsPoEticBaBi07 New Member
since 2003-11-15
Posts 4 |
this poem was okay but you gotta write with very deep expressions and use words that will move people and make them think they can imagine or see whats goin on in the poem like they were there... well cyz lata .. |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Hi smiley and welcome to Passions! You've got a lot of emotion in this poem, and young_blood gave you some good advice too. Hope to see you writing more soon!  ~Elizabeth P.S. Check your email for a special message! Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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